Guess who hasn't done anything today? Someone else other than me because I don't want any documentation of my incredible laziness. Other than this post!So I've done my facebookin', stumblin', and wonkettein' on this fine Friday. Entertaining as always, but not entertaining enough. Everything just seems so stale. Nothing is updating, and no one seems to care. I like to call this "reaching the end of the internet".
Usually, "reaching the end of the internet" involves me reading some fucking stupid Washington Post editorial about how beach volleyball is a metaphor for how much Barrack Obama hates America (I'm LOOKING AT YOU GEORGE WILL). Then I start shouting terrible things at the computer screen until I'm hoarse, after whcih gently weep under my desk because I am normal. My co-workers do no enjoy my presence.
But today, when I reached the end of the internet, and I found this:
... the greatest thing in existence. What a great day it was.
Matt Tice, friend and compatriot, is the primary writer for the blog blenderwheel. If you are about the reach the end of the internet, please make this "komdey blog" your last stop. My favorite so far: Blenderwheel's story about office life. It introduces you to the greatest/worst boss in the universe, Boss Ruth, and talks about his favorite time of the year: no lying day. What is no lying day? I'll let Boss Ruth explain:
Wouldn't we all love no lying day in our office? Happy Friday everyone, and enjoy the funnies!Boss Ruth: Shut up. Naomi, it’s No Lying Day - remember? Every year, we get one day where Human Resources goes AWOL and we can do whatever the fuck we want. That includes asking if it’s normal that my wife cried after a night of bathtub gin and anal sex. Get me?
Naomi: I don’t remember ever hearing about No Lying Day…
Boss Ruth: Well, bitchclod, that’s because this is the first one! From now on, every year on this day, we’re going to stop fucking lying and say what’s on our minds! And right now what’s on my mind is why the fuck my wife cried after I hogtied her and stuffed her poopchute. Is that such an awful request? Answer me woman
like this.
ReplyDeletealso, i would like for matt tice to be my friend in real life, as i find blenderwheel to be incredibly hilair.