Older, but not wiser

Hi, kids. It's my birthday. I am now 24. This is depressing. But, you know what they say: when you get older, you get wiser. Here's what I learned today:

1) Old people fucking love to do crosswords. This joy is magnified x10 while on public transportation. I can't figure this out. Crosswords are fun. To a point. I can get through maybe 25% of a crossword before my mind starts to wander. I've figured it out though. Old people love crosswords because: 1) They have too much time on their hands; 2) They can afford to have a daily newspaper (with crossword) delivered to them; 3) Crosswords are tailored to old people. (ex. 50 Down. "She's A Lady" Composer. We all know the answer is Tom Jones, but only old people really lived through it.)

2) Gmail addresses are really indicative of your personality. If you use your.name@gmail.com, you are like everybody fucking else. If you use your first initial + last name (ex. iname@gmail.com), chances are you are a man or a lesbian. If you have something other than your name as your gmail address, what is your problem? It's solely for resume purposes! Duh!

3) She Rex is a dance party that is supposed to play rock 'n roll by ladies for ladies. This is a good idea in theory. It is crap in execution. However, I am still going to celebrate my birthday there this Friday. You know why? There is no other option. But, I will request the following songs:

Aaliyah - Are You That Somebody?


Fever Ray - Seven (The Twelves Remix)


Khia - My Neck, My Back


La Roux - Bulletproof


See, New Gay? It wasn't that hard to play good music by ladies.

Hope to see all my DC readers (maybe 2 of you?) there.